How do you listen effectively when youre already late for a meeting? How do you respond to a girl whos so angry that shes threatening to hit someone? Or to a boy who feels like giving up altogether? How do you listen, not only to students, but also to parents and to colleagues? Whatever your role in school, listening will be at the heart of what you do. Your school will be measured, in part, by the quality of its daily relationships and those relationships will depend on how confidently people are able to listen to each other. This book answers all the difficult questions about how to listen, what to say, confidentiality and more. Helping with particular issues such as bullying, relationship difficulties, depression and self-harm is also covered. With over 35 years experience in a variety of school roles, Nick Luxmoore offers practical, realistic answers, advice and guidance. This book will be essential reading for teachers and non-teachers alike.
Nick Luxmoore was a school counsellor, trainer, teacher, youth worker and UKCP registered Psychodrama psychotherapist. He had over 35 years experience of work with young people and with the professionals who support them. He worked as the Counsellor at King Alfreds Academy, Wantage, UK.
1. Introduction. 2. Yes, but. Theres never enough time! What if Im not the right person to help? As a listener, what exactly am I trying to achieve? How do I show that I understand? What if I cant help? What if I get upset myself? As a listener, what exactly do I say? What if I dont know what to say? What if someone asks for advice? Should I talk about my own experiences? Is it okay to hug a person? What if I dont like someone? What if they get angry with me? What if someone doesnt want to talk? What if they cant say what they feel? What about confidentiality? What if someone just wants attention? What if theyre really clingy? 3. Helping people. Who are struggling with family relationships. Who need to talk about death. Who are stubborn. Who talk of suicide. Who lack self-esteem. Who are angry. Who are being bullied. Who say theyre depressed. Who self-harm. Who want to talk about sex. Who cant see the point of life. Who dont care about anything? 4. Conversations that cant be avoided. With students. With parents. With colleagues. 5. Who listens to the listeners? 6. A checklist. Index.
Nick Luxmoore has a deep understanding of schools and the young people and adults who inhabit them. Starting from the assumption that we all like to think we listen to each other, this short, accessible book explains how, where there is a genuine will, this can become a reality. By removing the mystique from counselling and providing lots of practical examples, it shows how relatively simply schools can become communities in which all the people really do make time for each other - not just because its the right thing to do, but also because it makes them more effective places. This book should be required reading for all those adults who work with young people and their families... and most importantly, for school leaders who want to make sure that the words fit the music.
