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Steel Rainbow

The Legendary Underground Guide To Becoming An '80S Rock Star
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Looking back at '80s Hair Metal, one thing is apparent-every band looked and sounded exactly the same. According to legend, this is because of a secret text written by an anonymous record label in 1984 that promised fame and fortune to anyone who followed it word-for-word. As the music scene started to change in the '90s, this text faded into obscurity, never to be read and followed again...until now. Here, in all its glory, is a replica of that original text, painstakingly rewritten word-by-word for today's retro music hopefuls to follow. The text, which covers everything from how to write music to how to dress, includes the following illustrated tips:On How to Look:Be sure to showcase your chest 75 percent of the time.On How to Write Music:Use excessive uemlauets in soeng titles.Write a song for all the ladies out there, and declare it in the intro.On How to Play: Multiply the number of amps you need by six.
Jordan Hart is the founder of 10PercentNerd.com, a central online community for partial nerds everywhere with interests in pop culture, video games, music and movies, comic books, humor, and retro awesomeness. He has a regular gig as the "nerd world contributor" on The Kramp & Alder Morning Show on Milwaukee's number one alternative rock music station. Follow him on Twitter: @Jordan_Hart / #Steel Rainbow
Hilarious and insightful. It breaks down absolutely everything that's awesome and ridiculous (and awesomely ridiculous) from the Golden Age of '80s Hair Metal." -Daniel Wallace, New York Times-bestselling author of Star Wars: The New Essential Guide to Characters
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